image

Relationship and Couples Counselling

The terms relationship counselling, couples counselling, and couples therapy are often used interchangeably, and usually means the same thing – seeking help for your relationship. Making the choice to seek couples counselling may be a hard step to take, as it may mean that you are acknowledging that there is something wrong within your relationship and that things are not working out as perfectly as you would have envisioned.

 

Oftentimes, there may also be stigma against going to couples therapy, such as “going to couples therapy means that we’re not strong enough to work through our own problems, and this means our relationship is doomed”, or believing the myth that relationships need no-effort and  “if love takes work, then it wasn’t meant to be”. This makes it feel even more daunting to embark on couples counselling as you may be unsure of how to proceed, and whether therapy will help with the specific problems that you are experiencing in your relationship.

 

In our relationship and couples counselling work together, we will further try to build and improve communication skills between you and your partner, strengthen your emotional connection through building empathy and respect, and gain insight into the couple dynamic and patterns of interaction which play out in your relationship.

 

How do I know when to seek relationship and couples counselling?

Below I have outlined a few indications of when to seek couples counselling:

  • Frequent and escalating arguments that escalate into shouting matches and leave drama in its wake.
  • Poor communication and feeling misunderstood, unheard, and unsupported by your partner.
  • Emotional distance and loneliness.
  • Trust has been broken (i.e. infidelity, emotional affairs, deception and lying).
  • Physical intimacy issues – non-existent sexual desire, significantly decreased sexual intimacy with your partner, with the problem often going undiscussed.
  • Disagreement on financial issues.
  • Unequal division of household chores, unequal decision making, and this feels unfair.
  • Attachment insecurities (i.e. low self-worth, fear of abandonment) in either you or your partner which leads to extreme dependence or extreme independence.
  • Difficult childhood upbringing which interferes with remaining engaged with your partner when conflict arises.
  • Life stressors such as health issues, work-related issues, difficulties in friendships, or issues with family and relatives that impact on your relationship.
  • Individual mental health issues (i.e. anxiety, depression, addictions, etc) which impact on the relationship.

Relationships and Couples Counselling FAQ

What does a Relationship Therapist do?

A relationship therapist helps couple clients navigate struggling relationships.

Can Couples Counselling mend a cheating spouse?

Couples counselling helps the couple identify emotional triggers, unhelpful relational patterns, and also helps with building communication skills with each other.

How do I choose a Couples Counselling therapist?

When choosing a couples counselling therapist, consider the following: therapist’s educational background (i.e. Psychotherapy-related degree at a Master’s level), specialisation areas (i.e. have they seen many couple clients?), clinical work experience in dealing with couple issues, and whether they have a professional registration with specific colleges (i.e. CRPO or CPO).